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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Autumn Morn

Image courtesy of stockimages /FreeDigitalPhotos.net  By Exsodus


I woke this morning

hearing the hum of the grain dryer
a sign it must be Autumn

in the sky a beautiful star
bright on this early Autumn morn
without my glasses it looks as if it were made up of four
 – maybe five stars
all in a cluster shining bright
twinkling with all it’s energy until the
 sun brightens the sky
and my morning star fades
sleeps until next I see it smile at me

I woke up this morning
feeling the cool crisp Autumn air
coming through my window
embracing me with a morning chill

a chill not offensive to me
just letting me know misery
of hot humid summer air has been put to sleep
Now ready for the illustration of this season
color on trees
beauty from nature
truly a masterpiece from God

I woke up this morning
in a soft easy way
the world is alive around me

I am glad I woke up this morning





Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Monday, October 3, 2011

Allowed to Mourn – May I?

Do we have the right to mourn?
is this a given in our life path
those we love pass
automatically we march
in funeral ceremonies
accepting hugs and sympathy

Then it is over
we go to the business of
dismantling a person’s life
items so important to their heart
to us only junk

We are to go on with our life
remember good moments
moments that made us smile
moments that molded us into us
moments to connect with the one we bid farewell

But what if that process was denied
do we have the right to mourn?

Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Alternate Living

"Be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do.” That is what the advertisement said. I figured I’d give it a try; what did I have to lose? I was alone now, my husband left for parts unknown to find himself, my son was grown on his own. I needed to find love; after all there wasn’t much time left I just celebrated my fiftieth birthday.  Some friends said they had gone to this site for fun and pleasure and urged me to do the same. It was called Alternate Life and it cost you nothing unless you wanted to own land with a furnished house, buy clothes, all the real trappings of life.

Today I decided was the day to get on-line and try.  First they asked for my name and birthday.  I was a little nervous about this but the terms and agreement said all information was confidential. Next I had to pick if I was to be male or female, well I have always been female so I thought I should stick with the gender I knew. 

Pick an alternate first name: This was strange to name myself.  Well I guess I should try something young, exotic, mysterious, sexy, that would be me.  Smokey, that sounded sexy-cute, or maybe because the cat jumped on my lap I just named myself after her.

Pick a last name from the list: Not many of them were anything I could even pronounce but I suppose that didn’t matter. Difference, I guess I should have that name after all this was certainly different for me.

Pick a fantasy body:   A thumbnail gallery of faces and bodies were presented to choose from; now this was going to be fun how often can you choose how you look.

Sitting with anticipation to start my alternate life I studied the newly created Smokey Difference.  She was tall, blond, blue-eyed, a body bigger in some areas and smaller in others, this was totally unlike my real life body. Ready… set… hit enter… loading…done! I had to be crazy, mental breakdown, menopause, something unusual for sure was happening to me.  But after all I needed to make a change, needed life to be exciting, new and different.

I spent several days on-line at a spot called Newcomers Training Area. Here it was all about learning basic skills like how to walk and communicate, how to dress, just finding out how to function in this life.  It was a beautiful world full of beautiful people all walking around with little bubbles over their heads announcing their name.  Real life should be like this, everyone friendly, everyone perfect.

Finally the day came to move on to the “real” alternate world. I picked a place to start where Smokey Difference would officially begin her new life; of course it was a mall. Smokey was the same as all women; she didn’t have a thing to wear.  Getting new clothes and a new hairdo, now she was ready to conquer the world.

I couldn’t believe how addicting this could be.  There were shops, houses, parks, anything you could think of in the real world it was here and all you had to do was pick the place and with a keystroke, zoom …you where there.  I started making friends, female and male. I would communicate everyday with them; I loved this glorified 3D chat room. My life was interesting and fun for a change.

One night I discovered the Romantic Getaway. It was a beautiful mansion with romantic music, ladies in flowing gowns and men in tuxedos.  I felt like a girl again standing around in my long ruby red formal gown waiting to be asked to dance by handsome perfect men, all while sitting in my pj’s in front of my laptop. We would talk like anyone on a date, at least what I remembered a date was like. Flirting, talking, having fun in this fantasy persona, and always keeping the real person a secret.

One night Prince Strongheart entered my life. It was a slow night, no one asking me to dance, I felt rather depressed thinking maybe I needed to change my looks a little, longer hair, bigger chest maybe. Then he walked in.  Just the name made my real life heart race.  He was tall with black hair and the bluest eyes I could imagine on any man real or not. He walked right over to me and asked me to dance, my fingers were shaking over my keyboard wondering if I should do this. What could happen after all I was on my laptop in my living room and who knew where in the world this person was, so I accepted.  He was charming, a real prince. He said all the right words I wanted so much to hear in my real life.  Talking and dancing, it was three in the morning before I knew it and how I hated to say good night.  His cartoon person kissed mine and he wished me sweet dreams saying his would be beautiful, like me. I couldn’t wait until the next night to find him, and I did and each night and morning for the next month after that. Time moves much faster in this alternate life, a day is a week, a week is a month, a month a year.  All I knew was I wanted to spend every waking moment with Prince Strongheart, he was the man I was looking for.

Virtual romance, I had heard of it but never thought of participating, and now I no longer knew real from fantasy.  Funny how little cartoon people on a screen moving in amorous loving ways can seem so real.  But then it was the words, the words being typed on that keyboard the words my ears and heart wanted so much to hear.

We talked a little about us, discovered we lived close to each other, only about twenty-five miles away. We still didn’t know our real names, or what our professions in real life were, but our hearts had merged together. The forbidden words had been exchanged; I love you.   Soon this was followed by the big question, should we meet in real life?  After a moment of hesitation, a very short moment, I agreed to meet with him, why not I knew him so well we made passionate love every night.

It was all set Friday after work we were to meet at the coffee shop not far from my office.  He would be waiting for me in the back booth. I couldn’t miss him he would be holding a single red rose and his face would glow with the love he had for me, so he said. All day my mind was in a fog thinking of him, his black hair his blue eyes the handsome face. I realized this was a little cartoon man I was describing. I had no idea what the real man looked like, but I didn’t care because I was madly, deeply, truly in love.  His words, the way we talked through the night, the few things we knew we had in common was what I fell in love with, looks didn’t seem to matter to me now. We knew each other totally, knew our souls, our minds all with no prejudgment regarding looks. We loved each other for the real person; this is what love is about, how could it be wrong.

After work I walked up to the door of the coffee shop; it was ten minutes after five.  I took a deep breath, shaking and my heart pounding at a rapid pace I walked into the shop.  The scent of coffee and warm cookies caressed my senses as I walked with terrified confidence to the back of the shop.  There I spied the beautiful long stemmed red rose peeking around the corner of the back booth. I made my way toward him floating on a cloud of love and anticipation, not scared just feeling safe and warm to finally meet my lover face-to-face.  I stopped at the booth that held my heart’s desire and with a slightly sexy smile I looked down at him ready to say all the loving words I had practiced all day.

I stood there in shock hearing myself scream out, “Jason!? Oh no… I think …we have a problem.”

A look of terror washed over his face, his  voice  shook as he whispered timidly, "Mom?"


Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Heat

Lying in my bed
hot and moist from the summer heat
waiting for a warm wind
to caress my body to delight
Still nothing at my window
wait I will for as long as it takes
for one gust of wind
to satisfy me for the duration
I remember the cold winter
how I hungered for summer
now craving for only one moment
to be relieved of the heat within



Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Writer Within

I feel your words in my heart
touching me with tenderness
understanding with each verse
Within the chapters we are touched
living together in eternity
as we merge our minds
sharing our words deep inside
discovering we are one


Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Monday, August 8, 2011

Hell Days

I was in hell yesterday 
world spinning out of control
head in a vice
stomache an acrobate

Today I am several levels out of Hell
my hands grasping the spin
vice knows no power
acrobate takes a break

Life is too short
not always our’s to control

                        So today…
                                 popcorn for lunch!!




Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Morning Sounds

Birds woke me early this morning
singing for the new day coming
Slowly I moved in the morning air
much too delicate to enter quickly
Distant rumbles caught my ear
morning thunder announced a storm
Birds now silent as am I
all enjoying the morning sounds





Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Saturday, August 6, 2011

End of the Lane

My heart has longing and feels pain
I feel energy waiting for me
Searching to find my fulfillment somehow
I move toward a shadow at the end of the lane

Forward I cautiously move toward the form
Hoping for something or someone for me
Finding a man standing tall and still
A smile on his face soon makes me feel warm

Desire in his eyes tells me this is right
Heat of our lust calls out to me
A canopy of stars embraces our tryst
Illuminating our bodies bright

Once in an embrace the world fades away
Nothing but passion is waiting for me
Logic to fly from my head on this night
Kisses and Love is all that will stay

I find a lover at the end of the lane
To satisfy the passion growing in me
Warming my body in shadows of night
My heart feels love instead pain




Finding Inspiration

I cry out
I have no inspiration
no words come to my soul
Then I hear a bird sing her simple melody
A wind gently moves
carrying the soft scent of the milkweed
to me alone
What a silly fool I am
I just forgot to look

Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Satisfied

Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak
The single sunflower stands alone

      I wonder if she is lonely

           or just happy to be herself?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Finding Beauty

Life is Beautiful
…so they say

I read the news and shake my head
beauty in life isn’t here

Then one day I stop to look
past the conflict - hate and crime

Today I see the hummingbird
fluttering at my window

I see the mother robin
caring for her young

The sky so picture perfect blue
with wisps of cotton candy clouds

People nod and smile at me
touching my soul this simple way

Yes…

Life is Beautiful
…when we take the time to see.

  

Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Do We Write?

Do we write the stories?
Are they are own creations?
…or are the souls of the past finding us
    telling of their lives
It must be so…
I have no idea how I write these thoughts
Ancient souls are touching me
Embracing my mind
Continue to listen I must
...to let their stories live


Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Emerging Day

Feeling the embrace of this morning blanket

the peace of being part of life in the silent busy dawn

wanting this feeling to live in me throughout the growing day



Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Perfect

A cup of coffee

     the morning sun

          puffy cottonwood fairies

               gliding against a pale blue canvas

                      the start to a perfect day.


Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Friday, June 17, 2011

Friday, June 10, 2011

Flutter of Life Moment:


Enjoying a piece

of Dark Chocolate

with a gentle

purring cat

on my lap


Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Facing Them


Marie was frozen to the seat of the taxi.  Jason assured her she would not get hurt as he held her hands and helped her out.  The day was warm and the sky a clear baby blue.   Children ran and played games while the mothers sat talking together on the benches in the big city park.  Everyone seemed happy and unafraid as they enjoyed the beautiful day.  But Marie could not catch her breath; everything was spinning as she tried to focus her eyes on the scene in front of her. Jason guided her, holding her arm as they moved very slowly toward the small grove of trees in the middle of the park.  Her eyes were glued to the ground and her body shook with each baby-sized step forward she took.

“Marie, please look up.  You have to face this fear,” Jason told her, “our future depends on this.”

Marie knew she must face it, but she didn’t understand why she just couldn’t avoid having contact with them, this phobia had been with her forever so she felt there was no way to overcome it.  But she did know that without conquering this terrible fear she would never be able to move into the house they had just purchased. It was the house of her dreams, a beautiful two-story old clapboard farmhouse in the country with a pond and a horse barn on a two acre wooded parcel.  Worse yet she thought, what if she did move in and they broke into her sanctuary and attacked her while she slept. Letting go of the fear was important but she wasn’t sure she could do this.

The two of them finally reached the bench under a large burr oak tree in the middle of the park. Every inch of her body trembled, her stomach turned flips and she was positive her fiercely pounding heart would explode out of her chest. She sat down keeping her eyes closed tightly; afraid one of them would come up to her and she did not want to know if they did.

“Can we just go, I’m not ready to face this just yet, we can come back tomorrow,” Marie pleaded almost in tears.

“No, we’re here now no more putting this off. Okay Marie, two of them are coming over towards us.  Be brave, you have to come face to face with them,” Jason whispered in her ear and then kissed her cheek tenderly.  “Here give them this, they will be grateful to you.  Just hand it to them, they will take it and leave, it is all they want.  They won’t hurt you,” he assured her as he held out a bag and guided her hand to it.

Without opening her eyes, her hands shaking out of control she felt for the bag.  She groped the inside of the bag to find the objects that were on the bottom. Opening her eyes halfway, holding her breath, she extended her arm out with the offerings to the visitors who stood without moving in front of her.  The two dark figures quietly scrutinized her head to toe, and then glanced at each other. One seemed to give a nod of approval to the other; then they each quickly grabbed the offerings from her hand. Marie then opened her eyes completely to watch the squirrels turn with a flick of their bushy tails and disappear up the oak tree.




Copyright © 2010 Eileen A. Partak

A Thought:


Walking through life in my own shoes ...

and they do fit well

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Flutter of Life Moment -

Rough little cat tongue washing my cheek
a purr vibrating in my ear

No alarm clock made
       could start my day
                 in a better way.



Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Feasting

The world seems to be coming together
order is at hand - or is it me? my mind and attitude just coming together
Always wait - Always hope - life goes on no matter what
Worry never changed the world - only drained it of life
The sun shines in my world today
even though the organic world is gray
Rejoice - life is your own
just believe in what you want - in who you are
Don't look from your own yard  with want
Taste the world
but remember
feast on your own life!


Ó 2011 Eileen A Partak

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Flutter of Life Moment -

Enjoying the last two bouquets of spring daffodils -

until we meet again
I will hold you
in my memory and heart
with a loving smile -

Thursday, April 28, 2011

A Moment

Every moment I breathe

    is every moment I live

        is every moment I die


Every moment is

    only a moment

        forever

           another moment



© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Beauty

Simple beauty

Strong and tall

By her own will

She follows the sun


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Thinking

Naked to the world around me
I sit in the present
untouched by my surroundings
the past holding me tight
Winds through the fragrant pines warm me
and remind me to smile
All is familiar while everything is new
how magical memories are


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Self

Alone in the crowd

drowning
in an empty pool

dressed
in front of everyone

yet naked
to myself

© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Thinking Spring

The winds of thought
move through my mind

The scent of spring
lives within


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Individual

I no longer look at them as one

what one does they all do

I’ve learned that each has a shape a color

and may react different from the rest

Each is an individual

I will no longer judge all as one

each should be recognized for their involvement

An individual I now realize makes the whole

not the whole as one

I will from now on remember this…

No longer will I call it my hair

but my curls.


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

List

A touch…
A look…
A musical rhyme
can stir my heart at anytime

A scent…
A taste…
A funny story
can move me always far from worry

 

© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wildflowers

Perfume scented air
fills the mind with dreams
fills the heart with love
Flowers of the heart
receive my gift of love


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Savior

Depression and fatigue cover my heart

I continue hopeful and try moving forward

Wandering from room to room dodging this captive hold

I am the cause of my melancholy disposition

Knowing only from within will I find the way free

Yet I look for that savior to help me along

The soft hum of a tune reaches into my soul

caressing me as a mother to her child

This gentleness erases my despair

Oh!..the notes of Mozart the savoir of my happiness


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Happiness

The weather is warm the sun out bright - the birds are busy
I watch the daffodils growing taller each day
waiting in anticipation for them to show their happy faces
then knowing it is spring I will sit and enjoy my happiness


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Spring Hope

The white spring snow covers the flowers
keeping the warmth from rising
I long for the day to lounge on the ground
and gaze at the baby blue sky
Patience I hold to keep my dream breathing
knowing the day will soon come
when once again I can bask in the sun
making love to the baby blue sky


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Mrs. Chicken Goes to School


For weeks I had been going to the drug store drooling with want for Mrs. Chicken. To wait so long to get what you want and then the heart break of an accident.  I wanted that chicken, that wonderful bright yellow plastic chicken with the orange feet.  What wonderful feet with chicken toes spread wide shining in the light.  But the best part was when you pushed her back – pop - she laid eggs.   Well not real eggs, marbles but to a first grade imagination they were eggs; white and black round eggs.

Mother said not to take Mrs. Chicken to school, but I wanted to be the envy of my classmates.  The teacher was late that morning so a ‘big’ eighth grader watched over the class.  I sat at my desk with Mrs. Chicken sitting attentively waiting for the day to begin.

Well I guess eighth graders love marble-laying chickens too.  The ‘big’ eighth grader was right over to my desk so excited to see the marble eggs being laid.   No one knew plastic breaks if you press it to hard.  Crack! The beautiful orange feet broke right off.  ‘Big’ eighth grader was very upset; I was in shock. The big eighth grader apologized saying she would replace Mrs. Chicken.  Sadly Mrs. Chicken was laid to rest in the metal lunch box. I moved ahead with the day of learning grieving in my heart for my dearly loved chicken.

Lunchtime came and I mournfully opened my lunch box.  Milk had leaked out of my thermos bottle and had moistened the lid of the metal box.  Horror of all horrors, there they were bright orange toes spread out wide; chicken feet stuck to the inside top of the box. An image that haunts me to this day, every time I eat a chicken drumstick I look at the footless leg tears run down my cheeks as I think of poor Mrs. Chicken.


©  2011 Eileen A Partak

Friday, February 18, 2011

Foreign Attractions

When I first told my family about Marty and moving away with him they didn’t believe me.  Yes, I was in love again.  This new man from a foreign land hypnotized me, which was the reason my family was hesitant.

I was divorced four years ago. Alone struggling with a full time job and a child to nurture I did not think it was possible for me, Bekka Freemont, to find the time or the opportunity to fall in love again.

But one day I ran into him, I mean I really ran into him. I was running across the supermarket parking lot pushing my overflowing cart of groceries. I was already late to pick up my daughter, Sasha, from daycare.  Bam! – My cart came to an abrupt halt.   I nearly fell over backwards and there standing in front of me, with the cart resting on his foot, was the most captivating man I had ever seen.

He was very tall and thin with long arms and legs.  He had a sculptured face with a light complexion and large dark eyes, and he was bald.  I mean this man was not the type I was normally attracted to.

“Oh excuse me. I am so sorry, I can be such a klutz at times,” I apologized, unable to take my eyes off him.

“No problem.  Not every day I am run over by such a pretty klutz,” he said in a slow deep voice with an accent I didn’t recognize.

He introduced himself to me as Marty Tharsis and explained he had recently arrived in this country to study.  He helped me with my groceries and asked if we could meet for coffee sometime.  Of course I jumped at the opportunity. “Yes,” I said hoping I didn’t sound too anxious.

Our relationship grew rapidly.  I enjoyed telling Marty about our culture and showing him the sites.  He thoroughly enjoyed the food; he said there was nothing like it where he came from.  I laughed hysterically as he savored a bacon cheeseburger at the Burger Hut as if he had been dining on rare Ossetra caviar at a five star restaurant.  He was so amazed at everything he saw and I loved being the one to introduce him to our way of life, after all he was here to study and I felt like his teacher.

After six months he said he must return home soon.  That is when he asked me to go with him.   I was excited then scared. Why shouldn’t I go, I was head over heels in love with this wonderful man. He loved me and he loved my daughter, he was the man of my dreams. He came to a foreign land completely alone and survived, so why couldn’t I go to his land.  I would be going with him, he would show me and teach me the local customs so I shouldn’t be scared.

“I will go with you.  I will go anywhere to be with you.”

Telling my family that Sasha and me were moving away with Marty was a difficult task.
“Mama, Dad, you have no idea how hard it is to find a wonderful man like Marty.  He is great with Sasha and she just loves him, I love him and he loves us both,” I tried desperately to explain this to them as they sorrowfully thought of losing their only daughter and granddaughter.

“Bekka Honey,” Mama pleaded, “moving to a foreign land with a five year old, not knowing the culture or the language, that is going to be such a hardship.  And it is so, so far away we will never see the both of you again,” with this Mama burst into tears.

I explained what a wonderful opportunity it would be for Sasha to learn about this culture.  How lucky she would be to grow up in this other land.  The both of us would never have an opportunity like this again.  And for me, I felt I would never find another man to love like I loved Marty.

They reluctantly gave us their blessing and came to see us off on the long six-month trip to our new home.

And that’s how I ended up living on Mars.  Yes, Marty is Martian.


© 2008 Eileen A Partak

Spring Promise

Spring sun shining
birds busy nesting
dark long winter days over
Now hope for happiness
to fill days with warmth

© 2010 Eileen A Partak

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Parallel Life

Looking to find the path
to move from this life I am in
where hearts can live as one

Parallel life is for lovers
Lovers like me and like you
Yearning for love that is true

Life filled with passion
our souls free to embrace
sharing the love that is ours

Life and love have many parts
find the path that leads to me
to share our parallel life


©  2011 Eileen A Partak

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Cow Wishes

The scent of sizzling bacon greeted Fred as it did every morning, nothing changes.  He paused as he walked into the kitchen and glanced over at his wife Martha.  He hurriedly went out the door towards the dairy barn. He could hear Martha yelling after him.

“Don’t dilly dally milking those cows. And don’t you bring dirt in on your shoes again.”   Nag, that is all she ever did Fred thought. In forty years of marriage they never had a decent conversation.  How he envied those men who had wives who would talk and listen to them.

Fred reached the old red barn as the golden sunbeams danced their morning dance with the horizon. The old oversized door opened with a lazy creaking sound.  Clover, his oldest Guernsey looked up as he entered the barn.  Hooking her up to the milking machine he looked into Clover’s big brown eyes.

“Well old girl you always listen to me.  I wish you loved talking to this old man and I wish old Martha would just shut up and never speak again.”

“Fred I always love listening to you.  I look forward to our early morning conversations.”  Clover said with a twinkle in her eye.

Fred shook his head in amazement.  “I must be crazy.  Are you talking to me Clover?”

“Silly man, of course I am.  You wanted me to talk to you.  I am a magic cow, I’ve granted your wish.  We have had a rather close relationship over the years, this can bring us closer.”

Fred stood in shock, shaking his head in disbelief staring back at the cow.  He turned and ran to the kitchen to tell Martha.   When he entered he saw the frying skillet on a grease-covered floor and Martha standing holding her throat with a terrified look on her face.  She looked at him, her face pale as a ghost and mouthed silent words; I can’t talk formed on her lips.

Next day the scent of sizzling bacon greeted Fred like every morning, but things change.   Fred whistled a happy tune as he walked with a little jump in his step.  He smiled and nodded to Martha as she stood silently cooking breakfast.

“On my way to the barn.   I’ll be as long as I like.”

Fred entered the barn with eagerness as the cock sitting on the fence crowed at morning’s first light bring in the new day.

“Good morning Clover my dear.” Fred cheerfully greeted the brown cow.

“Good morning to you Fred, I hope you slept well.  I missed you.”  Clover said with a flutter of her big brown eyes.

“Oh Clover, I missed you too.  I wish you were my wife and we could talk all day every day,” Fred said has he put his arms around the cow’s neck.

Martha wondered what was taking Fred so long with the milking today; he had been gone for hours.  She went out to the barn, but he was nowhere to be found.  The milking machine had never been hooked up and the cows were looking at her with a restless eagerness.

Clover was not in the stall where she was kept.  Martha heard strange sounds from the back of the barn and headed toward the noise.  Clover stood in the back work area and looked up at Martha with a startled expression.   Martha looked and then looked again at the huge dark form at the back of the barn.

“Now where did that big black bull come from?”

© 2008 Eileen A Partak

Solid Existance

Thinking - watching the snow fall like cotton puffs being tossed before a fan. A certain beauty this winter wonderland is as I sit searching for warmth in the coffee shop –watching-listening to the chatter of humanity. I try to write – try to create as I sit on the outside being part of it all but still only an observer. Embracing it all, my words are my warmth on a cold winter day; they warm me and keep me safe as no person can.

I can live with only myself, with an occasional meeting with friends and loved ones, but my total comfort comes from within. I pity the soul who cannot be content with self. It took me many years, many decades to get here, at peace with me.

The snow is collecting like many experiences and relationships in life.  As we collect them many stick, but ever so many just melt away. I want to keep the solid ones, as stones these will stay and not melt away. Those that melt should not be mourned, as the melted snow is never thought of again.


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Monday, February 14, 2011

Passion

Love waiting and growing
my bed ready to possess this uncontrolled passion
Calling my lover to come unleash my expanding desire
I am not the master of my desire and lust
he is the only one to quench this fire deep inside
The fire of love consuming every inch of my body
Every corner of my mind
Every chamber of my heart
He is the owner of my desire
Lust growing with every thought of him


© 2009 Eileen A Partak

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Waiting Room

My life sits in a waiting room

Isolated from the rest

in dark silence I must sit

ears perked to every sound

Brother’s whisper releases the news

current to me from the past

Life – Death what does it matter

Each looks the same as the other



© 2010 Eileen A Partak

Friday, February 11, 2011

Extinguished

Old lace stained and torn
looking at the faded past
the present melts before her
memories of her groom remain
but soon the candle dims
his face again to see


© 2011 Eileen A Partak

Ten O' Clock Visit

The Blue Jay visits every morning
Ten o’clock the arrival time
cawing loud approaching my garden.
With precise skill of wing he lands
beneath the heavy sunflower head
I think Mother Nature is the sunflower
with simple beauty to enjoy
and bountiful nourishment for all
Tall she stands reaching for the sky
guiding Old Sol on his daily journey
I watch this untamed episode
thanking high above for life
Watching the faces glow in the sunflower forest
filling my soul with contentment
I wait for the Blue Jay to visit at ten o'clock.


© 2011  Eileen A Partak


Summer Love

I realize my love is in the summer season
flying from me leaving my heart empty and alone in winter
Warmth to embrace me does not exist when now I crave it so
crying and sad with loneliness the sunshine of the day is deleted away
I must accept the cold emptiness of winter and remember life still exists
joy of the heart can be nurtured with memories of the past
On the wings of spring birds Summer will again fly back to me
once again I will be embraced with loving warmth
filling my heart with summer love


© 2011  Eileen A Partak

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Each Day

One day I feel nothing and wonder if I am alive
Next day my emotions rise with more than enough for a lifetime

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Whispering Hearts

Listen my love to the whispering of hearts

Listen closely – listen – feel vibration within

Feel the soar of our hearts – feel the pounding

Listen for words – the whisper of my heart whispering to yours

One heart calling to one it holds close – hold my heart – hold it and listen

Listen my love  - whispers – calls – reciting love to you

Hold my heart close  - hold my heart gently – keep my heart safe

My heart deep within yours  - whispering love

Whispering love only to you – whispering love for eternity

© 2011 Eileen A Partak