Observing the Coffee Shop People... And a Little Love and Passion - Final Entry

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The final entry....This story is an  embarrassment in my attempt to write a romance story -  why I have published it, I am not sure. In conclusion - I can not write romance. I hope you enjoyed it or at least had a chuckle from it. I think I shall not try romance again.

September 20... 

Getting close to my birthday already, how old next? Twenty-seven no fifty-seven, but   who cares it’s only a crazy number.   Finished my latest story attempt, let’s see this will be rejection number what?  Or maybe published story number one. Who cares I’m enjoying the challenge, enjoying the writing, the creativity.  Best of all - I enjoy life!

© Copyright 2014   Eileen A Partak

Young We Were

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Once we were young and now we are not

I think as my young self once did –
but I know that I’m not

My body can’t keep up – but my mind is still there

Young we were -

thinking we had the answers

But now knowing we had many more questions 

Young we were -

When we feared aging 

thinking time for accomplishment was finite

Young we are -

As long as we hold our memories
the mind always will be

I am glad to have struggled up this road of maturity



© 2014 Eileen A Partak

Observing the Coffee Shop People... And a Little Love and Passion - Entry 9

 Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This started as a writing exercise as I sat at the coffee shop observing people for character development.

Reading over it one day I  decided to write a short story based on the characters.  I kept it in the form of a journal.

July 19th…

Crowded today and hot, makes it a good day for iced coffee.  Well Football Hero hasn’t been here for a while. Maybe this isn’t his regular store he could have just been passing through.  I probably should change coffee shops, seems to be about the right time for that. 

Now this man coming in isn’t bad.   He is talking about making sausage to the young girl at the next table.  Hmmm is making sausage a code statement for something else?  He must be my age and he is another one in good shape.  Very good shape!

Observation – people in good shape drink plain coffee- no whipped cream piled high over the cup - no huge hunks of coffee cake totaling a million calories each.

Sausage maker says he is sixty-seven, - wow my grandpa didn’t look like that come to think of it my father either.   He is talking about his granddaughters’ birthday. She is as old as my daughter. Another observation – maybe the coffee shop is the fountain of youth.

My energy detector is going off full throttle.  It’s him. Football Hero he’s back and looking better than ever today.  He must have been running today… so that is how he keeps in such great shape.  He is getting an iced coffee, number two thing in common.  Should I say something?  Yes…. No….remember high school’s embarrassing moments?

Getting the courage to ask the football star to the turnaround dance.   Back in those days girls waited for boys to approach them.  Once a year in the spring the school would sponsor a dance to give the girls the opportunity to feel the fear of asking for a date – feel the rejection that the boys felt when they didn’t meet the standards expected of them.   Of course I did get to experience all that rejection and humiliation and here I am fifty-six and still scared. Guess I earned scars from the whole experience.  Well remember this is the twenty-first century, talk to him what can happen?  I am not proposing marriage, but hmm, I think I would want to propose a little encounter, more than just a weak little ‘hi there, how are you’?  Just go up to him and say ‘haven’t I seen you in here before, care to join me’?  Oh my I’m going to die on the spot if he rejects my invite. Make Note: Better wait, no can’t afford to wait...

© Copyright 2014   Eileen A Partak

End of Light

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I adore the rising sun

it is part of who I am

Sunlight shining bright on me

always starts my living day

Darkness in my life I loathe

sunset I will have to know


© Copyright 2014  Eileen A Partak

Observing the Coffee Shop People... And a Little Love and Passion - Entry 8

Image courtesy of Jeroen van Oostrom/FreeDigitalPhotos.net       

This started as a writing exercise as I sat at the coffee shop observing people for character development.

Reading over it one day I  decided to write a short story based on the characters.  I kept it in the form of a journal.

June 12th…

Ok something has to give sooner or later.  Stories keep being rejected, but remember Stephen King’s spike holding all his rejection slips.  Hold on and don’t give up, my time has not yet come.  Maybe I need that partner who will find my breakthrough story I tossed in the trash and he tells me how it will be my story to lead me to success.  Yeah sure, I should be so lucky.  What do I want, luck in publishing or luck in love? Maybe both, is that too much to ask for?

Get that coffee. A good jolt to the system is always the cure to what ails you.  Oh my, the coffee counter girl has green and white streaks in here hair, must be a real company girl.  Don’t have to worry about here thinking I’m strange for the way I take my coffee or bagel. 

Did I ever tell anyone that I feel energy from people?  Well I do very strongly. That is why I have such a hard time going to conventions and seminars.  Conventions especially where people are from all over the country or other parts of the world.  People who are looking for a quick sexual encounter just because they are there and can get away with it. And after all what are conventions for, at least for some of the population. That activity emits a lot of energy, energy that I pick up very strongly and can be very difficult for me to handle. So I stay away from all the writers’ conventions, just to keep myself calm. Is that why I can’t get published? 

Someone here has some strong energy I am detecting it right now.   Don’t think they are here for a tryst, but they have something going on.  Who is it? My, oh my, this man coming up to the counter for his coffee.  Wow, tall, very broad shoulders tapering down to a pretty nifty butt I must say. Think some twenty something jocks could be jealous of that, or maybe give them hope they can look that way at this age.  He must be around sixty, and well preserved, more hope for getting older.  He does smell good, haven’t been close to a good scented man for a long, long time.  Oh my God he has blue eyes. I feel faint like a teenager next to the football hero. I think I am getting a hot flash.  No wait I took my hormones today, must be a flash of lust.  Like he is going to even notice me, silver haired with my skin thinning and loosing its elasticity, but look he has graying hair and I must ad a little skin showing on the top of his head.  I never would have thought bald would end up looking sexy and appealing. Getting older sure does change your view of things. Remember Grandpa, remember Chemistry book man, they were not looking at the ‘young chicks’. He drinks his coffee the same way I do dark roast with a shot of espresso, our first thing in common.  How romantic!   Oh, he is using his wife’s coffee club card; oh no he asked if he could change it to his she has passed.  Poor man, I know how that feels, should I give him my condolences?  Oh come on, snap out of it.

Get control of yourself silly old girl.  Take your coffee not his. Oh how embarrassing. I hope he didn’t notice.  Go to your table.  Write.  Drink coffee.  Daydream about Football Hero...

© Copyright 2014   Eileen A Partak

 

Observing the Coffee Shop People... And a Little Love and Passion - Entry 7

Image courtesy of Jeroen van Oostrom/FreeDigitalPhotos.net       

This started as a writing exercise as I sat at the coffee shop observing people for character development.

Reading over it one day I  decided to write a short story based on the characters.  I kept it in the form of a journal.

May 29^th…..

It is morning, the coffee shop just opened.  The coffee shop people start early.  Made my rounds through the bargain books.  ‘Last Chance’ the sign says as the books are lined up on the shelves ready to march out the door after being rejected by the reading people.  Losing to the self made best sellers, the book tours the media has used to manipulate the minds of the consumer into believing this makes the book.   ‘Best of the Year…. Incredible piece of writing…. Better writer than ‘who ever’ yeah…sure.   Sorry last chance; guess you needed a better PR company.  Guess my writing frustration is showing again. 

Settling down with a bagel and a tall cup of dark roast coffee with a shot of espresso.  Why do they look at you like you are some sort of unknown creature when you don’t want cream in the coffee and no cream cheese or butter for the bagel… I am different…so?

Ok… who is here today?

Morning seems to bring contractors, businessmen, elderly, everyone. Different types of people at different times of the day just have to find your time and type.  Seems the coffee shop is the 21st century meeting place. Who would have thought a five-dollar cup of coffee could do so much.

Elderly man reading.  This man looks like a great grandpa.  My, he has a smile on his face as he reads, must enjoy reading.  Basic Chemistry…I guess he must really enjoy reading, poor lonely old guy.  Oh and who is this?  Classy elderly girlfriend, now I know why the big smile.  So, a tryst with the elderly, good to know there is still hope and excitement when getting older. I need all the encouragement I can get.  The older I get and the more I observe, the more I realize that passion and sex does not die. Seems by watching them it can get better.   I think it must be more intense.  I’m not that old, but this knowledge is good to have.  I guess he is recharging his mind, reading a science book along with a classy girlfriend…hmm the possibilities of life are wonderful.  Never give up on it….it?     Life?  Romance? Sex? Writing?...


© Copyright 2014   Eileen A Partak

Observing the Coffee Shop People... And a Little Love and Passion - Entry 6

 Image courtesy of Jeroen van Oostrom/FreeDigitalPhotos.net       

This story started as I sat at the coffee shop on writing days observing people for character development.

Reading over it one day I  decided to write a short story based on the characters.  I kept it in the form of a journal.

 April 22….

Focus!  You must stay focused.  Everyone tells me that. Why can’t I?  The coffee shop is slow today.  Many students.  Do they understand how precious their youth is?  There are many men here alone.  Why so many men out in the day alone?  Sometimes I think men read more than women do.  That’s what it is today, older men – busy reading.  You look at them they seem like Grandpas, still men but older men.  Do they still have the desires of the young men?  Grandpa is there looking through his sports magazine.  He doesn’t take his vest off, baseball type cap, why do they always wear those caps?

No one fears the older man, he is just the grandpa and that is no threat.  Now everyone looks at the table with the younger men and the girl.  They must be the ones with nothing but sex on their minds. Yes driven by hormones only.   You can see that by the silly grin on his face.  Sure after they leave here they are off for a romp. It is expected, yes youth.  Sex is so wasted on them.   Look at Grandpa, he doesn’t have the grin, he isn’t salivating over Miss Cheerleader with the short skirt yelling ‘Look at me.’  Maturity – yes maturity understands sex, desire, what it is really about.   It is not just hormone driven. The experience of life understands the importance, knows it isn’t just the moment of climax, knows how to find the deep feelings knowing that romance must accompany sex, understanding must accompany sex, caring must be there to make it complete.  Knowing the total person, everything about them must accompany sex. Sex for the sake of sex is nothing.  Sex, deep passion, comes with understanding it is just not for your own pleasure, pleasing your partner is the most important, then that alone will please you totally, sexually, spiritually, in every way.  Mind and body are really connected into one; one cannot be totally happy and pleased without the other feeling the same. 

Grandpa doesn’t look at Miss Cheerleader. He looks over at the mature women, the one who carries herself with grace, dignity, beauty, knowing what her life is, knowing what is important and what pleases her.   The two of them, yes, real passion would develop, real caring, real love.  The youth, silly as they are, they think lust belongs to them.  Lust, passion and love belong to the experienced, yes the mature know.  Society has it wrong; the youth will destroy it, give love and sex back to those who know what it really is. 

Maybe being alone for so many years has frustrated me.  Spent all that time raising the kids, working, taking no time for me.  Now where is life?  Retirement is advertised as the time to do things, what things?  Daughter’s divorce will be final soon, son now on his second wife, but I think he has a good sex life with this one.  A good sex life is important for the young. For the young at heart too?  Again, focus on the writing. I can still be a writer at this age.  I must have sex on my mind today.  Am I a frustrated writer, or a frustrated lover?   Need more coffee, now!    Make note: I need sex...

© Copyright 2014   Eileen A Partak

Observing the Coffee Shop People... And a Little Love and Passion - Entry 5

Image courtesy of Jeroen van Oostrom/FreeDigitalPhotos.net       

This story started as I sat at the coffee shop on writing days observing people for character development.

Reading over it one day I  decided to write a short story based on the characters.  I kept it in the form of a journal.

February 14….

Today is Valentines Day. I think I see all kinds of love in this coffee shop.  The world is so blessed to have all types of love to fit every life.   Wrote a little poem or sonnet or something for today.

            I hear your voice in the foggy mist

            I search my love to find you

            I know you are there I feel your presence

            But I can’t find you.

            My heart, my mind, my soul,

            Filled with your energy

            Fog is between us

            I reach my love but cannot touch you

            I hear your voice I cry out - my words bounce back

            Fog is thick

            I search my love to find you

            I need to see you

            Need to hear you

            Need to touch you

            Fog between us -

            Stops us cold.

Not sure what that means.  Not sure what this day means.  I see no one here today to write up as a character.  Coffee shops, writing, love, desire, passion, and age maybe it all means nothing.  Get more coffee… and chocolate....

© Copyright 2014   Eileen A Partak

Observing the Coffee Shop People... And a Little Love and Passion - Entry 4

 Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This started as a writing exercise as I sat at the coffee shop observing people for character development.

Reading over it one day I  decided to write a short story based on the characters.  I kept it in the form of a journal.

January 10….

Starting again.  Trying to get the creative feelings going for the New Year.  Writing every day…haha…a joke I think.  Am I looking for something or not? 

Seems to be baby day at the café.  A couple with a grandbaby, they are much older people than me.  There are also two men with two children.  A cute little toddler girl and an infant in the seat still with a snowsuit on, I can’t tell if the infant is a boy or girl.  I think they are a gay couple, just seem like they are partners and not baby sitting for their wives.  They are in early 40’s, African- American.   The one man knows how to take care of the children very well; the other man was looking at cookbooks.  The kids are so cute, they seem happy, the whole family seems happy.  The little girl is waving at me. I don’t think she knows I’m white or that I’m fifty-six or that I still have such lustful sensual thoughts and feelings, at my age.  No one knows that, shouldn’t that be gone when silver moves into the hair and retirement come?  Maybe I’m odd.  I wave back at the little girl.

Look at them, such a happy family the kids are so cute you can see they are so loved.  Some would criticize this family consisting of two dads thinking it so awful for the kids.  I don’t know, isn’t love just love.  Those kids could have “mommy & daddy” and just exist with no love, only hate, misery and abuse given to them.  And the two men, they seem so content with each other.  A partner to go through life with to share the pain and the love, having someone to share life with sounds so ideal.   Make note:  need a life partner.

I am drinking a Chi Tea Latté; the old man at the counter does not know how to make it very well.  Aretha Franklin is not here, wasn’t here before Christmas either. I wonder if she was the one who fell. I heard that someone fell.  I hope not. I miss Aretha, she likes my hair, and I need people to remind me I still am good.

The Grandma must be a great-grandma.  She is having fun with the baby.  She has no worries, raised her kids now she is having a great time with the baby. Two different generations, two that can get along and are sometimes forgotten and they both can learn so much from each other.  Society needs to respect elderly people they have much love to give to children. Will I ever be a grandma?  I’m old enough, oh but my mind is twenty-six and I still have lustful sensual thoughts and feelings. Grandmas can’t have those. Can they?  ....

© Copyright 2014   Eileen A Partak

Observing the Coffee Shop People... And a Little Love and Passion - Entry 3

 Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid /FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This story started as I sat at the coffee shop on writing days observing people for character development.

Reading over it one day I  decided to write a short story based on the characters.  I kept it in the form of a journal.

December 6….

Been busy preparing for the holidays now.   Worked very hard on hiking story, finished it and sent it out to several friends to read.  This could be a mistake since these friends are not writers.

Here I am, back at the coffee shop.  Need to clear up my writer’s block.   I get scared sometimes – maybe I have no ideas for stories; or I could have too many.  Maybe this whole crazy notion to be a writer in my retirement years is just that, a crazy notion.  I must want something out of this part of life.

Trying to write. I have been exercising to motivate my mind.  Physical activity and the brain must be connected some how, though I certainly haven’t found the connection out running the track.  Keep ‘looking for the words’. Where are they?

Today’s characters…two old people.

She intensely reads the paper.  Dresses for comfort not for style, but is style important when you are elderly?   Her bulky sweatshirt seems to be the only means of keeping the cold winter temperatures away.  Her stocking cap sits snuggly on her short thin gray hair.  Maybe no one told her that her hair was pretty.  She has an Eleanor Roosevelt look to her.  You can see at no time in her life was she a beauty, but her intense concentration on her newspaper shows a search for knowledge, for information.  She defiantly does not want to live her life uninformed.  To her being ignorant to the facts of the world around her would be a violation of life.

Her husband approaches the table after searching the bookstore.  He is also a well-seasoned reader.  Odd couple they are.  Even in his advanced years it can be seen he has always been better looking than her.   Society always wonders why is a good-looking man with such a homely woman? 

Question of mankind again: why must the woman be beautiful?   Why do we question this situation when it exists, homely woman - good looking-man?  Look at birds; the peacock is the stunning bird while the peahen is the drab and plain bird, but look at what she can produce.  The ugly man with the beautiful woman, good for him they say.  The handsome man with the ugly woman raises the question, what is wrong with him?  Has anyone ever thought some people may look at the inner soul and not the outer wrapping?  Many wonderful people are overlooked just because they are not beautiful.  Shame on us!....

© Copyright 2013   Eileen A Partak